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Zakiyyah Shakir

Classy is Subtle

Don't belive the hype, class is subtle not forceful. If it's one thing I try to convey in etiquete courses is etiquette is about putting others at ease, not putting others on edge. A subtle and calm demeanor achieves this far better than an aggressive and overly eager person.


Subtle etiquette is hard to teach those who have already been taught incorrectly; they'll need to unlearn the the piercing eye contact that's more creepy than confident and dispense with the theatrical introduction of themselves that so many etiquette professionals teach. They'll need to use their head coupled with mindfulness and a healthy dose of calm to make genuine connections.


The truth is, in real life people speak softer, and feel better in the presence of those who aren't making a show of themselves if you want to advance your etiquette IQ follow these tips.


  • Dress appropriately for the occasion, consider the time of day and the season when choosing your clothing. Overdressing for casual events is rude and dressing in out of season fabrics and colors isn't very chic or classy either.

  • Show up on time to any event you're invited to. There is no such thing as being fashionably late.

  • When introducing people, be aware of their proper titles and enunciation of their names.

  • Compliment sincerly and sparingly.

  • Lower your voice indoors and lower it even more in close proximity to others. The only time a raised voice is necessary is if you're trying to speak over music, or a crowd of people. At which point you should be asking to walk away from the noise so you might be heard without yelling.

  • Speak naturally, and communicate clearly.

  • Never arrive to a dinner party or gathering empty handed.

  • Never overstay your welcome.


These are just a few rules to help you keep it subtle and classy.

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